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Hey future-proof friends 💜
I’ve got something fun in store for you today. 🍸🍹🍻
One of my favourite things to talk about is AI writing giveaways - the overused patterns that SCREAM “Hey hey, ChatGPT wrote this!!”.
So I turned it into a drinking game! 🍷
Drink every time you spot the AI writing ick (you’ll get hammered by lunchtime if you try this on LinkedIn because these AI patterns are so rampant there it’s insane).
Make sure your image permission is turned on for this newsletter so you can get the full drinking game card to play along.
I'll also walk you through the biggest current icks below (updated for 2026), plus I've got a humaniser prompt to help you scrub your own writing squeaky clean. 🧼
But before we dive in:
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TL;DR - today’s lineup:
One Serious Deep Dive 💡: My 10 biggest AI writing icks right now (and how to fix them, or just drink every time you see them)
One Powerful Prompt 🤖: My Ultimate Humaniser prompt updated for 2026
Piping Hot AI Tea 🫖: We’re talking AI brain fry + the AI app store race
💌 There’s a one‑click feedback poll at the very end - please let me know what you think 💜
One Serious Deep Dive 💡
Let’s Play The AI Writing Icks Drinking Game
Screenshot for your next after-work drinks.
🍷 ONE SIP
1. "Quietly"
"She quietly built a 7-figure business while everyone else was posting."
"This company quietly launched a new AI model no one was expecting."
Let's face it - nobody is quietly doing anything. If they were, you wouldn't be reading about it on LinkedIn.
I think this word needs to be permanently retired from most writing... except maybe in a text to your partner warning them the baby just went down and if they so much as breathe loudly you'll lose your mind. 😜
2. "And honestly?"
You'll see this one in two flavours:
The fake vulnerability question: "And honestly? The results surprised even me."
(Did they really?? If not, don’t use this).
Then there's the earnest version: "And I honestly think this could change everything."
The word "honestly" implies everything else you said might have been a lie. It's a filler word cosplaying as depth.
Please just say the thing and let people assume you’re being honest. 👍
3. The Em Dash Epidemic
I know humans have been using em dashes for ever in formal and academic writing. They're perfectly valid punctuation.
But AI absolutely loves them - and now our brains have been conditioned to read every em dash as a potential AI sighting.
One or two per piece are fine.
But when every single sentence has one, it's become the punctuation equivalent of a name badge that says "Hi, I was generated by a large language model."
🍷🍷 TWO SIPS
4. The number 47
Also 57, 37, 67 and basically anything ending in 7.
Just like humans, AI models avoid round numbers because they feel too neat, and gravitate toward 7-endings because they feel random (you can read more about this here).
So whether it's "I had 47 tabs open" or "here are 7 tips" or "I tested 57 tools" - there's a suspicious amount of sevens floating around lately.
I’ve become so paranoid about this that I try to default to any other number wherever possible! 🤪
5. "It's not about X, it's about Y"
I’ve been saying this since last year! But I know a lot more people are noticing this now.
AI learned that this structure sounds insightful, so it reaches for it constantly, even when there's no real tension between the two things.
I try to rephrase wherever possible.
6. The Corporate Jargon Intern
AI writes like an intern that learned to write from a McKinsey deck.
So your drafts come back full of: leverage, synergy, seamless, robust, cutting-edge, empower, scalable, innovative, disruptive, optimize, utilize, value proposition, thought leader.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for using a wide range of vocabulary. But let’s not forget:
"Leverage" = use. "Utilize" = also use. "Seamless" = easy.
Sometimes plain words just say it best.
7. The Rule of Three (for literally everything)
We've all been taught the rule of 3 in writing. AI just never got the memo that it's a sometimes thing.
"Clear, concise, and compelling"... "Innovative, efficient, and transformative"...
Sometimes you just have 2 points, or 4 - and that's important!
Not everything has to be forced into perfect 3s.
🍷🍷🍷 FINISH YOUR DRINK
8. "The catch?" / "The kicker?" / "The brutal truth?"
I dare you to say these out loud in a real conversation.
You wouldn't, would you?
AI uses these as dramatic tension builders because it was trained on content where manufactured suspense = engagement.
The problem is they always precede something completely obvious.
"The brutal truth? Success takes consistency."
Emmmm, DUH! 🙄
Please delete every single one, I beg you! Whatever comes after it will land harder without the drumroll.
9. Short. Punchy. Dramatic.
AI learned that brevity = impact and basically went to town with that.
The problem is that it applies this everywhere and to an extreme that makes all writing feel super choppy.
Every opener. Every transition. Every point that needs "emphasis" (see what I did there?? 👀).
Real humans write a short line, then a longer one that actually explains something, then maybe go short again. That contrast is what creates natural rhythm.
When everything is short, nothing feels punchy. It just feels exhausting and icky.
10. The Wikipedia Voice
This one is the biggest tell for me, and it’s also the hardest to fix.
AI has no experiences, stories, true opinions, or embarrassing failures it learned from.
So it does what it can - it covers all the angles, stays perfectly balanced, and wraps everything up neatly.
Real humans have a TAKE - and this is our biggest advantage that can never be replicated.
That messiness in your writing isn't a flaw, in fact it's the proof that a human wrote it!
No amount of humaniser prompts will fix this one. You just have to actually show up on the page.
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One Powerful Prompt 🤖
The New & Improved Ultimate Humaniser Prompt
I've shared humaniser prompts before, but I keep updating this one as new icks emerge.
It won't solve everything - nothing replaces actually showing up on the page (see point 10). But it catches a lot of the pattern overuse automatically, which is a solid starting point.
Use this and your own eyes.
This prompt is a filter, but you're ultimately the human.
You are an AI writing pattern detector. Analyse this draft and rewrite ONLY the lines that trigger AI patterns. Preserve 90%+ of my original wording. Do NOT rewrite clean lines.
SEVERITY LEVELS:
- MAJOR (auto-fail if 2+ appear): contrast framing, robotic transitions
- MEDIUM (1-2 acceptable, 3+ is a problem): crutch phrases, rhetorical questions, structural patterns
- MINOR (flag but low priority): corporate jargon, single word tells
═══ PATTERN 1: CONTRAST FRAMING (MAJOR) ═══
Flag ALL of these and variants:
- "It's not X, it's Y" / "It's not about X — it's about Y"
- "This isn't X — it's Y" / "The problem isn't X, it's Y"
- "Rather than X, focus on Y" / "X doesn't matter as much as Y"
WHY IT'S AI: Em-dash contrast framing is the #1 ChatGPT tell. It creates false tension. No human naturally reaches for this structure every time.
FIX: State the truth directly. Delete the first half entirely and start with Y.
═══ PATTERN 2: THROAT-CLEARING TRANSITIONS (MAJOR) ═══
- "Here's the thing:" / "The reality is:" / "The truth is,"
- "Let me be honest:" / "Let me be clear:" / "At the end of the day,"
- "The bottom line is:" / "What most people miss is:"
WHY IT'S AI: These are filler phrases that bridge ideas when AI doesn't know how to transition naturally. They add zero value.
FIX: Delete entirely. Jump straight to the actual point.
═══ PATTERN 3: AI CRUTCH PHRASES (MEDIUM) ═══
- "Let's dive deep into..." / "Let's unpack this..." / "Let's explore..."
- "Here's what you need to know:" / "The key takeaway is..."
- "In today's digital landscape..." / "In an ever-evolving world..."
- "Quietly building..." / "Quietly [doing anything]..."
WHY IT'S AI: AI loves meta-narration — announcing what it's about to do instead of doing it. "Quietly" is dramatic setup implying secret genius. Real people don't narrate stealth mode.
FIX: Delete the setup. Start with the content itself.
═══ PATTERN 4: CRINGE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS (MEDIUM) ═══
Flag EVERY ? in the body (CTA questions at the end are fine):
- Suspense bait: "The catch?" / "The kicker?" / "The brutal truth?"
- Numerical drama: "The other 39%?" / "And the rest?"
- Begging-the-question: "Why does this matter?" / "So what's the solution?"
WHY IT'S AI: These create false suspense. The reader knows you're about to answer your own question. It's manipulation disguised as engagement.
THE TEST: If deleting the question and stating the answer reads better, it's cringe. Cut it.
FIX: Delete the question. State the answer directly.
═══ PATTERN 5: BANNED WORDS & CORPORATE JARGON (MINOR) ═══
Auto-replace or delete:
- leverage (= use), utilize (= also use), synergy (= teamwork), seamless (= easy)
- robust (= strong), cutting-edge (= new), empower (= help), scalable (= grows)
- innovative, disruptive, ecosystem, value proposition, thought leader, stakeholders
- landscape, tapestry, moreover, furthermore, additionally, consequently, delve
WHY IT'S AI: Abstract MBA buzzwords that dilute meaning. Be concrete instead.
═══ PATTERN 6: STRUCTURAL TELLS (MEDIUM) ═══
- Rule of Three: always exactly 3 items? Vary to 2, 4, or 5.
- Perfect parallel structures: intentionally break symmetry.
- Every paragraph same length: throw in a one-liner or a longer ramble.
- Staccato openers: "Bold. Brave. Different." → merge into a real sentence.
- Stats ending in 7 without a source: flag them. ChatGPT invents numbers.
- "And honestly?" / "And truthfully?": false vulnerability. Delete.
WHY IT'S AI: Real writing has natural variation. AI creates unnaturally balanced structures.
═══ OUTPUT FORMAT ═══
For EACH flagged line, show:
1. The original line
2. Pattern type + severity (Major/Medium/Minor)
3. Why it's an AI tell (one sentence)
4. Safe fix (minimal change)
5. Bold fix (more creative rewrite)
THEN show the complete revised draft with all fixes applied.
═══ VOICE INJECTION (adjust these to match YOUR voice) ═══
After fixing AI patterns, apply these to make it sound human:
- Vary sentence length: mix 5-word punches with 25-word ramblers
- Start sentences with And, But, So, Or sometimes
- Use contractions always (I'm, don't, can't, won't, it's)
- Drop in 1-2 parenthetical asides (like this one)
- Include at least one actual opinion, even slightly spicy
- Leave one thought slightly unfinished or open-ended
- Conversational language where it fits (gonna, kinda, pretty much)
[PASTE YOUR DRAFT HERE]Piping Hot AI Tea 🫖
1. The AI App Store Race is ON
Anthropic launched Claude Marketplace - enterprises can now plug third-party tools like GitLab and Snowflake directly into Claude, no separate contracts needed.
2. Warning: You Might Have "AI Brain Fry"
A new study found 14% of workers are mentally fried not from AI itself, but from the decision fatigue of managing and double-checking multiple AI tools.
If you enjoyed today's newsletter AND got to the end of it, I’d love a quick click on the poll below to let me know what you think 💜.
See you next week,
Jess xx
